Backfire
by Lillith The Nocturnal
Summary: If a jutsu can be mastered, is it possible for it to backfire? What kind of things can happen? Will Naruto realize that he doesn't like Sakura? And why is Naruto wearing girls clothes? NaruHina. possible NejiTenLee. Possible SakuIno. ABANDONED.
1. It begins here

Backfire

A humorous Naruto fanfic

**A/N: The idea for this fic came from the thought "If jutsus can be mastered, can they be stuffed up?" I needed a jutsu that if it did backfire, it wouldn't cause widespread destruction to Konoha. It is a pretty small list, the more harmless jutsus. After getting rid of the medical jutsus (stuffing them up makes people DIE!) or invisibility style jutsus (Permanent invisibility stories are over done) only 2 jutsus were left. Clone jutsus and Naruto's first original jutsu. Clone jutsus would end up being a bad Multiple Man fanfic, so I went with Naruto's first original jutsu. The Ninja Centerfold Jutsu. (Alternatively, sexy jutsu or Art of Eros, if you prefer those names). Pairings are NaruHina, NaruHina (yes, NaruHina is there twice), one-sided JiraTsun, possible SakuIno, Possible NejiTenLee. Yes, there is many perverted pairings. Notice the lack of Yaoi? Look at my profile to discover why. I have nothing against Yaoi except what a straight male has against gay stories. Set after time skip. Ages of Naruto characters are as shippuden, give or take a year. Naruto is 15-16 and is finally starting to realize that kunoichi are more than just female ninjas, but girls.**

**Lucian Arane: Omega does not own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. Omega does not claim to own Naruto. He does claim that he would like to own Hinata is struck by lightning from a suspicious looking cloud with the Omega symbol formed out of clouds How troublesome… struck again**

There are many Jutsus, created to make life easier for ninjas. Some are used for healing, some to distract, some for use in battle. A jutsu is defined as the molding or shaping of chakra into an effect that influences the area around the user.

Excerpt from "Things a Genin should know. Leaf Edition" by Toad-J

"Good afternoon Hinata, Is that your sister?" asked Ayame to the two lavender eyed girls. Hanabi looked at her older sister, raising an eyebrow "You come here often?" the younger Hyuuga asker her senior. Hinata fumbled with her fingers "ahm…er...yes." Stammered Hinata. "Why do you come here? You do know that the branch family will cook anything you ask them to" Hinata blushed. "Hanabi, it's rude to say such things. Anyway, there are other reasons why I come here and why I do not get the branch family to cook for me. Namely they should not be treated as the main houses personal servants, but as equals." Hanabi just yawned, "Is one of the reasons a certain blonde ninja with whisker marks?" Hinata blushed "If so, then someone who looks a lot like him is kicking up a lot of dust and is coming this way." Hinata looked to over where Hanabi was looking and saw Naruto. At least it looked like Naruto. _Orange jumpsuit. Check. Whisker marks. Check. Blond hair. Check. Sculpted chest muscles I want to run my hands over. Cannot check those without activating the Byukagan! _"Byukagan!" Hinata said, her normally invisible irises of her eyes showing up, the area around her eyes having the veins bursting out.

Hinata fainted, as she normally did when she tried to use her bloodline limit to see through Narutoes clothes. Something was different this time. As Naruto stopped her head from hitting the ground, two thoughts swirled around her head _since when did Naruto look so female? Since when did Naruto have breasts?..._

"There is one thing all ninjas should fear. It is not the enemy. It is not the concept of a clan massacre. It is not a mission being compromised. The one thing all ninjas should fear is a jutsu backfiring."

_Excerpt from "101 things every ninja should know" Author unknown_

"Who are you and what have you done with Naruto!" yelled Sakura, as the person who seemed to look like Naruto carried Hinata into the hospital. "If you have harmed him in any way, I will…."

"Sakura. I will tell you who I am if you will ask me questions only Naruto would be able to answer. Then you shall have your explanation."

"OK then, who was the Jonin who led team seven 2 and a half years ago?"

"I find your lack of faith disturbing, Sakura. The Jonin who led team seven was Kakashi Hatake; the famous copy Nin with only one or two original jutsus. Want to ask me something harder?"

"How did he test team seven?"

"Harder next time. Bell test. The day before, Kakashi told Naruto, you and Sasuke to not eat breakfast. You three being the obedient Genin did so. Kakashi turned up late. He said that he had two bells and the test was to get one of the bells before noon. Naruto pointed out that there were only 2 bells, meaning that one person would fail."

"You want a harder question? Fine then. What was the jutsu that Kakashi used on Naruto to teach him to not show his back to the enemy?"

"Now you're getting it! Secret Forbidden Hidden Leaf Village Jutsu: 1000 years of Death! Essentially the jutsu is finding the opponents weak point and exploiting it with a physical object. In Narutoes case, the Tiger hand sign and Naruto's ass."

"Now can I get your name?"

"Granny Tsunade would beat you up for not getting it by now. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, The treeless leaf ninja."

"Then why the henge?"

"Backfired Jutsu training. Thought I hadn't used the Ninja Centrefold Jutsu in a while and decided to practice seal less, smokeless jutsus. Now can you see to Hinata? She fainted when I came near her. Her Byukagan is active, if that helps."

"Backfired….Jutsu?"

"Talk later; see to Hinata-Hime now!"

"Hinata will be fine, Naruto. Had you not noticed that she only faints around you?" Naruto scratched her head, trying to recall all the times Hinata had fainted. "You mean she only faints around me? I thought she did that often." Sakura facefell, creating quite a loud noise. "Naruto, you dobe! Can't you see the obvious! Hinata li….." Sakura was about to tell Naruto that Hinata liked him when a certain dog and boy appeared. It was Kiba and his massive dog Akamaru. "Hey Sakura, I thought I smelled a strange female presence here. Know anything about it?" Naruto turned around to look at Kiba. Kiba saw Naruto and unwillingly performed the Blood Release: Body Rocket Technique. _She is fucking hot! Wonder if I could…._

"Gods, Kiba! You are almost as bad as Ero-Sennin! At least he had the ability to not get a blood nose at the sight of me!"

"Who are you, fair maiden?" asked Kiba trying to impress this goddess in front of him.

"She's Naruto, you idiot! Can't you see the whisker marks?"

"Naruto? But you are not a girl! I've seen your meat…." Said Kiba. Before he could finish, Naruto slapped Kiba across the face "The 6 of us swore to never say anything about that in front of a female. EVER! Now you must be punished as sworn by the six of us. Now, I wonder if Anko will let me borrow her chains and some other things…" Kiba fainted

"Naruto, what are you talking about? Is there something I should know?" enquired Sakura. Naruto sighed. "Let us just say that 6 of the rookie 9 managed to steal some sake, got drunk and did some stupid things. The next morning, we swore to never tell anyone exactly what had happened that night, on pain of being chained up and anally violated by Anko's biggest vibrator. Guess I have to tell the other 3, since we can't find Sasuke."

"Um, Naruto, you do realize that you will have the same effect on them as you did on Kiba. I do not think it would be such a great idea for you to be running around the village like that. Sorry, I can't keep calling you Naruto, since Naruto to me is male, while you are not male at the moment."

"Why not call me Naruko. It is what I call myself when I use that jutsu. I think Granny Tsunade should be told about this"

"About what? Only one person calls me Granny Tsunade and he gets away with it because I like his spunk," said a tall woman. Naruko and Sakura turned to the source of the voice and saw Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, legendary Slug sage and medic-nin. "Well, you certainly are not Naruto. Care to explain?"

"It started when I realized that I was stuck on my Rasengen training. I was trying to be able to form a rasengen by myself with no shadow clones helping me. I remembered some advice I read saying that if you are stuck on a problem, walk away from it and do something else. I realized that I had not performed the Ninja centerfold jutsu for quite a while. I know it is a useless technique to have, but it did help me get Jiraiya to train me. I thought that I should try performing the jutsu without smoke or handseals. It worked, but the transformation was too slow to be useful. I wanted to be able to walk behind a tree as Naruto and emerge from behind the tree as Naruko. I managed to speed it up to that point. By then, it was lunchtime. I dispelled the jutsu (or so I thought) and ran into town to get to Ichirakus for lunch. As I ran past, I saw a lot of male villagers get nosebleeds like Kiba did. Then I looked at myself and I saw that I was still Naruko. I needed help from someone who wouldn't judge me, so I went to find Hinata. I know that she goes to Ichirakus for lunch when I am in the village, so I went there. I saw Hinata and then saw that she had fainted again. A smaller Hyuuga who was with her said something like "I never knew she swung that way" before running off giggling. I brought Hinata here so she could get help. Sakura can tell you the rest. Now can you help Hinata?" explained Naruko. Tsunade looked shocked at Naruko's explanation, but started looking worried when Naruko told her about "The smaller Hyuuga"

"That "smaller Hyuuga" is Hinata's younger sister, Hanabi. I can't tell you why Hanabi ran off giggling because Hinata would want to tell you herself. Naruko, come with me to the Hyuuga compound so we can explain this to Hiashi. Sakura, can you treat Hinata?" but before Sakura could reply, Tsunade and Naruko had already left.

"Backfired jutsus are defined as the name given to the phenomenon where a jutsu backfires or does not do what the ninja wants it to do. The ninja should fear this, since it may have effects on the world around them. A backfired battle jutsu could mean the destruction of everything within a 10 meter radius. A backfired medical jutsu could result in people dying. A backfired clone jutsu could result in undismissable clones or the clones refusing to do what the ninja wants them to. A backfired Emergency Escape jutsu could actually make those you wish to hide from know exactly where you are. Just ask the charming toad sage."

_Excerpt from "cover your ass, the things every ninja should know, but were never taught at the academy" Author unknown_

"So, what you are saying is that my youngest daughter is a liar?" growled Hiashi, towards the Fifth and Naruko. Tsunade sighed. "No, I am not calling Hanabi a liar. It is not considered lying if you do not have all the facts before opening your mouth"

"So you are saying that Hinata is attracted to this girl?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. But….."

"You confuse me. Explain."

"Naruko, can I ask you to step outside for a few moments? I suggest you go find Hanabi and explain to her the difference between Lying and Spreading gossip" asked Tsunade, although it seemed more like an order. Naruko complied and went looking for Hanabi.

"Now you can explain. I thought my daughter was attracted to the Yondaimes legacy?"

"She is. That girl is Naruto. Naruto developed a jutsu that would allow him to transform into a girl. For what reason, I do not know. Naruto was training that jutsu earlier today so he could transform faster, without hand seals or smoke. It seems that it backfired and the jutsu has become, as Shikamaru would put it, troublesome to dispel. I noticed that you called Naruto "Yondaimes legacy". Most people call him Kyuubi brat or Demon child. Why the kinder term?"

"I said it because I do think it is right, not because I am talking to you. Naruto seems to be able to inspire Hinata, to spur her on. Someone else had a similar ability for my Hikaru. It seems that history is repeating itself."

"Hang on; you're saying that Minato Namekaze, Konoha's yellow flash and the Fourth Hokage was able to inspire your wife much like Naruto does for Hinata?"

"Yes, I am afraid so. I was one of Hikaru's friends who would try and help her get over her fear that Minato wouldn't want her if she confessed her feelings for him. I knew that if she did do it, I would never have a chance with her. He made her happy to be around. I was there for the worst day of her life, when she saw Minato confess his feelings for Kushina Uzumaki. I comforted her and confessed my feelings about her. The rest, as they say, is history. As a result, I have 2 daughters that I would defend with my honor and my life. I have done so a few times."

"Did you ever try and sabotage her chances with Minato?"

"I did contemplate it once, but never carried it out. I realized that I would be happy if Hikaru-Hime was happy and if Minato Namekaze made Hikaru happy, then so be it."

"Did you consider adopting Kushinas child? Naruto's life would have been a lot better if you did…"

"Don't think I did not try to. Every time I submitted adoption papers, the council rejected them and told me it was an S-class secret as to why. I approached Saturobi and asked him why, since he could tell me and not break the laws regarding such secrets. He told me that the council, on hearing that I wanted to adopt Naruto, decreed that no clan should have sole dominion over "That demon child", as he would be too powerful a weapon to use against other clans."

"Then why didn't you help him out later in life?"

"Don't think I didn't. If you look at the Uchiha files regarding the mobs attacking Naruto, you will notice something. None of the names taken are Hyuugas. I decreed that attacking the blond child would be counted as an insult to the Yondaimes memory in my eyes and such a transgression would result in Exaurilation and the caged bird seal being placed upon them, then having the seal constantly activated to cause pain."

"Exaurilation? What is that?"

"Only clans with Doujutsu such as the Byukagan or Sharingan use such a punishment. Essentially, the eyes are removed while the criminal is aware of it. No sedative, no tranquilizers, just a rubber tube to bite down on. Exaurilation has not been done for many, many, many generations, but the threat of such a thing works almost as well as the actual procedure."

"So you made sure he didn't get hit with Jyuuken. Anything else?"

"I nurtured my eldest daughters' kindness towards those who needed it. Particularly orphans with blond hair living by themselves. Not to disrespect Saturobi, but his cooking skills were not that good. Hinata, when she was not training, would spend time in the kitchen with her mother, learning how to cook. Hikaru once asked me why her dishes seem to disappear, only to reappear a few days later smelling of ramen. I told her that Hinata was giving food to those who needed it more than she did. Naruto never knew that the mysterious dishes of food left on his doorstep were from his lavender eyed angel, watching out for him."

"And I thought you were some hardass father who wanted his daughter to be the perfect Jyuuken machine."

"We all wear masks, Leaf Shadow. You know who the mysterious author of CYA: the things a ninja should know, but was never taught at the academy. I believe that he writes soft core pornography as his full time job, does "research" at the women's bathhouses and takes no shame in admitting that he is a super pervert. This man uses the mask of anonymity to write useful books for upcoming ninjas. If he were to use his real name, the books would not be as widespread as they are now. I wear the mask of a father who wants his daughters to be like sons to hide the fact that I have the best interests of my daughters at heart. Frankly, I wouldn't care if Naruto never came out of his current problem, since it would stop me worrying about Hinata creating illegitimate children."

"You want Naruto to _stay_ this way just so Hinata doesn't get pregnant? I know that the Hyuugas are protective of their lavender eyes, but forcing your eldest daughter to become a lesbian in order to be with the one she loves? That's taking it a bit too far for my liking. Besides, what if Naruko doesn't feel the same way about Hinata? Or if Naruko prefers penis? What will you do then?"

"I have a feeling that Naruko likes Hinata, but fears coming too close to having to meet me because I command a clan of ninjas that can kill you with a single tap to the chest. So I make him work up the courage to ask me if he can date my daughter. When he does that, that's when my mask will slip and tell him the first lesson of Jyuuken, namely not to use it lightly. What Naruto doesn't know is that Jyuuken doesn't work on him! Due to the Kitsune no Kyuubi being sealed inside him, Jyuuken won't work. He only thinks it does. Think of it as a genjutsu without the illusions. I have your word that none of this will be repeated to him, or her as the case is?"

"Partially. I think Naruto should know who left the food for him all those years ago and the reason why there never was any Hyuugas in the mobs that attacked him. The Jyuuken things, your mask won't be told to him or her, as you pointed out. He knows who his parents were, so you can explain the whole reason behind your clan's actions. Just promise me one thing. You won't tell Naruko about Hinata liking him. That secret is Hinata's alone to tell. Sakura was about to tell him when a boy and his dog interrupted them. And yes, it is true about Jiraiya and CYA, if you had any doubts. Its sort of a deal he made with Saturobi, Minato and then I. As long as he writes the CYA books, Konoha will never ban his less savory works, to which the village's male population is secretly thankful. I know you buy them and frankly, I don't care. As long as you don't leave them lying around for Hanabi or her friends to find or use them when teaching her about the facts of life, I don't care. Jiraiya lets me look at the mailing list, just to make sure that no one who shouldn't be on the list isn't. He is allowed to have one violation on that list because he trained his father and then him when he showed a rather interesting talent that appealed to him. I think the violations pseudonym is 9-T. I make sure 9-T doesn't let his friends read the books."

"This mailing list. Is it only Konoha residents or does it stretch into the land of sound?"

"Don't think we didn't think of that. There was a name could have been him. I think it was "PaleSnakeLover" or something like that. Turned out to be the only female on the list! She is heavily into Submission and Domination and is going out with "MaskedScarecrow" if my information is correct"

Yes, it turned into a gossip session about who was on the Icha Icha mailing list and the amusing names people used to hide their perversity

**A/N: now to explain some of the things that might have you stumped. Facefalling basically is what happens when an anime character says something stupid or obvious and everyone falls to the ground with a leg in the air, possibly twitching.**

**Blood Release: Body Rocket technique is basically a blood nose. It is in the same class of "jutsu" as SFHLVJ: 1KYoD, Wind Release: Stinking cloud technique (My RL friends will get the reference. Basically the made up name of Naruto breaking wind, as used in the 3****rd**** exam prelims against Kiba) and Forbidden Jutsu: Large Head of the Master technique (Irukas trademark non-battle jutsu)**

**What Kiba was going to say before Naruko interrupted him was "**"Naruto? But you're not a girl! I've seen your meat kunai" **as a reference to his genitalia. Other terms include Trouser Titan, Pork sword, and single barreled yoghourt cannon. Yeah, it's kind of a male thing.**

**Before you ask, no, I will not make Naruko go out with your favorite male character. Naruko may physically be female, but mentally, she is still male. No, I am not making her a slut just because it's your fantasy for him to do so.**

**The 6 that Naruto was referring to are the 6 male Genin in Naruto's year. If you want names, then fine! Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi, Kiba Inazuka and Shino Aburame. Basically, they got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to compare lengths, as guys do when they are drunk, since if they mention it, they can just say that it was a hallucination brought upon by the sake. The 6 of them swore to never speak of it again, on pain of being chained up and anally violated by Anko's largest and most powerful vibrator. **

**Anko's the proctor of the second part of the Chunin exam. Most fanfic writers place her as a horny woman with a lot of sex toys. If they want to pair her up with someone, usually, it's Kakashi.**

**Exaurilation is an original punishment based on the ebberonian concept of Excoriatation, in which the Excorates dragonmark is flayed off their skin. For a clan that values their lavender eyes, Exaurilation is the most extreme single punishment that can be handed out.**

**Naruto needed a title. It seems that everyone has a title. Kakashi is known as the Copy-nin or the Scarecrow-Nin. Jiraiya Is either pervy sage, Ero-sennin, toad sage or Super pervert. I thought that Naruto's title should somehow say that he had no parents growing up. I thought the Treeless Leaf-nin sounded good, as it shows that he had no parents growing up, no real father figure, and no loving mother figure. The Treeless Leaf sounds good, but the Sixth Hokage sounds even better. Naruto realizes that no one takes him seriously if he keeps saying that he will become the next Hokage constantly, so he rarely says it.**

**Additional note: If you want to know why I have NaruHina twice in the top, it will be revealed soon enough. Let me just say that the Naru in both of them is not the same Naru. Why I have NejiTenLee is because frankly, I can't decide who the hells should get Tenten and I kind of like the idea of Neji and Lee having to "share" Tenten. She doesn't mind, as she gets Neji AND Lee. They have set up rules for such a thing. Namely, Neji and Lee alternate days, with the seventh day being group date/ free time day. Most of the teams I have a favored person to go with the female, but not team gai. From team seven, Sasuke gets Sakura, Team 8 has Hinata with Naruto, leaving Shino and Kiba unloved, team 10 has ShikaIno, leaving munchy with his bags of chips. Team suna has FOR THE SAKE OF THE GODDESS, THEY ARE BROTHERS AND SISTER! Oh and I despise NejiHina romance fics. Friendship NejiHina is fine, but romance NejiHina? Genetically speaking, Neji, Hinata and Hanabi are half siblings, since their fathers were identical twins. Assuming that the Byukagan is not a positive result of inbreeding, NejiHina is just WRONG on so many levels**

**P.S. Lucian Arane would like to say that all members of the Hyuuga clan are perverts. Especially Hinata. Good thing she faints whenever she sees or imagines Naruto naked. Lucian Arane would also like so say something that is plain wrong regarding the Inazuka's sexual preferences, but He was struck repeatedly by The Same Cloud As Before every time he opened his mouth.**


	2. Why train that jutsu?

Chapter two: Why the hell train that jutsu?

"Hanabi! Hanabi! Wait up!" Yelled Naruko, searching frantically for Hanabi. _I could use shadow clones and make them clothed, as not to cause chaos here. It would make the search a lot quicker so I can face Hiashi sooner._ Thought Naruko to herself. Channeling her chakra, she said the words "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" just as she finished saying the words, about 7 naked narukos poofed into existence. "What do you want us to do? Make Ebisu nosebleed? Teach Konohamaru the next step to the Harem Jutsu? Get Ero-sennin to train you some more?"

"None of those. Put some clothes on first and help me look for Hanabi Hyuuga. I will know if any of you decide to help ero-sennin with his research by going to the female bathhouse and make out with each other. Grandmother has asked me to look for Hanabi Hyuuga for her so I can help her learn the difference between lying and spreading half truths. You all know what Hanabi looks like. I am not sure if she can use the Byukagan, but assume that she can."

"And what will you are doing while we do the hard work"

"Something harder than taking down Sasuke while having all my chakra points sealed. I am going to talk to Hiashi to ask him if I may pursue Hinata when I am out of my current problem. Hiashi is extremely protective of his girls and can kill with a single tap to the chest. I am not sure about how he personally feels about me and Kyuubi"

"We don't envy you one bit. We will clothe ourselves and look for Hanabi Hyuuga. Where would you like us to bring her?"

"To the meeting room where I will be." The shadow clones clothed themselves in similar clothing to Naruko, and then they ninja dashed away, except one. "You have a question?"

"No, I don't. You know where shadow clones come from?" Naruko nodded "They come from my chakra system, therefore should know everything I know"

"That is true. Let me just say that I am from the part of your brain that is responsible for, to put it lightly, your sex drive. We are all cheering you on Naruto, or should we call you Naruko. We have recently become active, thus you will start seeing people in a different light. But you already knew that, didn't you? You have been having certain dreams involving a certain lavender-eyed girl. You know who she is." And with that, the last shadow clone ninja dashed away. Naruko took a few deep breaths. A shadow clone had never spoken so much to him before. She used them as company for the times Jiraiya went into areas she couldn't go. It was nice to talk _to _them, but they never said anything more complex than his last name and even then it was only parts of it. There was someone else she could talk to, but _she_ wasn't someone to talk to lightly, as _she _hated her. Naruko just had to know. _Meeting with Hiashi can wait. I need to ask Kyuu something_. Naruko walked into a room, sat down on a mat, crossed her legs, closed her eyes and opened her mind. Naruko then appeared in her mindscape "That's odd" Naruko said to herself "This does not look like a sewer"

_**That is because that was what Naruto thought his mind should look like**_. Yes, it was the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Naruto had been able to enter his inner mind and talk to Kyuubi whenever he needed to. Usually, Kyuubi would be trying to break the seal by ramming the lock on his cage, but there was no lock because there was no cage.

"Good day to you, Lady Kyuubi, queen of the Kitsune and Keaton's. Your humble servant requests a boon"

_**Cut the crap Naruko, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't hurt females. To answer the question on your mind, no I have not broken the seal that your father placed on both of us. It has merely been moved.**_

"Why can't I see you?"

_**Because I am not willing to show myself. I am…changing. Such things should not be seen by mortals. I may be portrayed as murderous demon queen, but I find it much more satisfying to actually break a mortals sanity as myself and not while I am changing. **_

"Why are you changing?"

_**Because you are. Ever heard the saying "When you stare into the darkness, the darkness stares back into you?" It means that things that are close to each other influence each other closely. I am changing because a curse placed upon me has finally been lifted. The person who summoned me 16 years ago forced me to stay in my demonic form, which you are familiar with.**_

"So I am changing because you are? I'm stuck like this?"

_**No**_

"Why does my mind look different?"

_**Because you are not Naruto. Naruto had low self worth, so his mind reflected that. As Naruko, you were able to best the Saindaime Hokage. This event subconsciously made Naruko believe in herself. Her mind looks like this, an endless field of flowers where the Voices gather.**_

"Voices?" asked Naruko. She them remembered why she came into her mind to talk to Kyuubi

_**You met one of them a few minutes ago. Voices are basically the manifestation of your bodily functions, feelings and senses. I think the one you talked to calls itself Libris, although they have franticly changing their names to more feminine names since your change, so her name might become Libra**_

"Is there one who deals with you?"

_**You are referring to the one called Sentinel. Sentinel is my true jailor; you are merely the building, Sentinel the guard. He/She talks to me and makes sure I don't do anything to endanger you. She is the limiter of my power when you ask for power from me.**_

Naruko thought about this, the words flowing around her, and then realized something.

"If I am physically female, does that mean that I'm attracted to guys?"

_**No. Mentally, you are male. This amuses me to no end, since us Kitsune prefer females for mating; only mating with Keatons when either race needs to bolster its numbers.**_

"So If I am physically female, does that mean that I will be irritable 3 days out of the month?"

_**If you are referring to menstruation, I do not see a reason why you would not. You are in a unique position, being the only male who knows what its like to be a slave to female hormones. Maybe you might learn something about females you can teach that dog smelling boy and the rest of your male friends.**_

Naruko shuddered when she heard that she would be a normal female of her age, as she remembered when Iruka taught the "True Physical Education" class at the academy and was taught that girls bled out of their crotches when they were physically mature. Naruto had no fear about seeing blood, but the idea of blood coming out of a girl's crotch made him avoid all females for a few days. Naruto tried not to think about it, but it seemed that was no longer an option

_**I know you don't like the idea of bleeding out of your crotch, but it will happen regardless of if you want it to or not. If you are uncomfortable with the idea, why not ask Sakura? You would be helping her out in her development as a doctor and she would be helping you out in your development as a female. Conversely, you could ask Hinata**_

"That doesn't seem to be a good idea to me. No disrespect to your ideas, Kyuubi"

_**There is no need to apologize Naruko, if you had objections to an idea; it is good for you to voice them.**_

"Who are you and what have you done with the Kyuubi no Kitsune?"

_**Very funny Naruko. I only ACT hostile. I am a Demon Queen and the highest Immortal figure in Kitsune and Keaton mythology. I have to act the part. I don't act like that when talking to those I consider…..worthy**_

"Worthy? Have I proved myself to some ancient demon standard?"

_**Not demon standards, but my own. I acted hostile towards you because you had not proved yourself worthy. You satisfied my demonic respect in that battle against your best friend. You earned my personal respect today when you came here today and not demanded "rent" as you put it. Kitsune prefer to talk to females over males due to Kitsune society. Do you know what a matriarchal society is?**_

Naruko thought about it the way Jiraiya taught him to _Matri means female, archal means ruled, put the two together and you get…_

"Kitsune society is ruled by the females?"

_**Well done, my young vixen. It seems you do have a brain. We Kitsune are female ruled, the opposite of human society, which is passively patriarchal. Kitsune are physically, mentally and spiritually stronger than Keatons. The two races share a common ancestor. A demonic ancestor. She made the females of stronger than the males. Originally, Keatons were used much like human females were used in human history, pawns, breeding studs, and slaves. The list goes on. One day, a Kitsune wondered why Keatons were treated this way and tried to get equal rights for Keatons. She succeeded and for her actions, was rewarded by being granted enough tails to be able to be called Kyuubi's right paw. I never supported the subjugation of Keatons, its just that in demonic society, might makes right. I could have punished Kitsune for their actions, but it is not for a deity to decide the fate of her kind. To this day, Keatons seemingly have equal rights to a Kitsune, but they gain tails at a slower rate than Kitsune, are frequently passed over for promotion despite their actions and are frequently picked on simply because of an accident of creation.**_

"Wow"

_**Exactly. You are welcome to come here and talk to me if you like. Just make sure you are Naruko. As the Goddess of Kitsune, the Kitsunes' belief molds how I act.**_

"But what if I need to talk to you when I am Naruto?"

_**You would not want to, unless you like having your mind filled with Yaoi. I think that Libra and her comrades want to talk to you now. Goodbye Naruko Uzumaki, the Yondaime's legacy and the Treeless Leaf.**_

Naruko exited her mind and saw Libra and the rest of the shadow clones Naruko had created

"What was the big idea of telling us that you would be in one place, but sitting here sleeping?" yelled Libra. Naruko smirked "Libris, is that your name? Or should I call you Libra?"

"How do you know my name? You can't tell us apart, as we are physically identical!"

"I notice things. You told me that you are responsible for my sexual urges. Another name for a persons sex drive is libido. I thought that you might have a name based around the sound "Lib". Besides, I was talking with the only external voice in my body. Sentinel knows who that is, don't you senty?" explained Naruko, speaking to the shadow clone standing stock still next to Libra

"My orders are simple. Make sure that the Kyuubi does not escape, limit the amount of power you draw upon from Kyuubi and keep the Kyuubi entertained. Permission to enquire how you know my name?"

"Granted. You always have permission to speak freely when we are alone or I give permission. To answer your question, Kyuubi told me. Now I have to ask all of you a question. What gender are you? Are you all male or all female?" Libra looked at the rest of the shadow clones and said "I will take this question. The answer is that we are the same gender as you are, with the exception of Animus and Anima, who stay the same gender no matter what. Animus is basically the male energy in a female, while Anima is the female energy in a male. Your next question is possibly going to be about the Voices that are gender specific, namely the Voice that is going to be responsible for your monthly cycle. What happens to her when you change back to Naruto? Simple, she becomes the Voice responsible for Naruto becoming physically aroused."

"Did you find Hanabi? I should have asked that first."

"We did, but she ran away when she saw us. That is why we need you to help us. We have a plan, but we need another person."

"So you want me to create another shadow clone? Or do you want me to come with you?"

"We need you to come with us. Hanabi left a message saying that she would only talk to you. Sanguinia got hit by a kunai with the message"

"Sanguina being the Voice responsible for monitoring my blood flow, right?" A shadow clone stepped forward, on closer inspection; she had an extra whisker mark on her right cheek. "That is sort of true; I AM responsible for the flowing of blood…."

"You mean…" enquired Naruko, leaving it unsaid

"When you were Naruto, I was responsible for making sure blood flowed to your genitalia when you were aroused. I was not that good at my job to begin with, but I got better at it over time. Now as Naruko, I am responsible for your menstrual cycle. Would you prefer a different term? Most females use a different term for that time. "

"That would be nice. Now where did Hanabi say to meet her?"

"She said to meet her at Tenten's weapon store and to bring lots of money"

"She wants me to pay her to be quiet?"

"That's all we will say. We know what she wants to do, and you don't have to buy her anything you don't want to."

"I think I mighty have to clear it by Tsunade first. Sakura had a valid point when she said that I have a certain effect on males. I wonder why Hiashi didn't act that way…." While Naruko was talking, one of the shadow clones had snuck away to go to the meeting room. She knocked on the door. "Who is there?" said Hiashi. The shadow clone said "One of narukos shadow clones. I need to tell Tsunade something."

"Enter." Responded Hiashi. The shadow clone opened the door and started speaking "Lady Hokage, We have found Hanabi, but she is refusing to come with us unless Naruko goes to meet her with some money. Before you accuse Hanabi of wanting money, there is a reason why. Hanabi wants to take Naruko shopping for clothes. Naruko kind of lacks female clothing. The shadow clones think that this is a good idea, but there is a problem. Namely that Naruko cannot go out in public without half of Konoha being propelled into the air on seeing Naruko. Naruko does not know that Hanabi wants to take her shopping for clothing and other things. Basically, Hanabi has realized that Naruko doesn't know how to act like a girl, dress like a girl. Hiashi, I think you might want to not hear what I am going to say for a few minutes. It involves the color red, the moon and females. Need I go on?" Hiashi nodded "Thank you for being considerate, but I don't need to. I had to teach Hinata about her monthlies when she started them. Let me say that no man should ever have to do that. I have a feeling that I might have to repeat that by teaching Hanabi. I could get Hinata to do that or possibly ask Tsunade."

"Very well. Naruko is repulsed by the idea of blood leaking from her crotch for a few days every month. She needs to be taught that it is natural and normal. She also has to learn how to get over the embarrassment of buying sanitary napkins, tampons or pads. Basic things that a mother figure would do for her daughter." Tsunade looked shocked "How does Naruko know that she is going to have monthlies? I thought that the Ninja Centerfold Jutsu was just an illusion?"

"Not exactly. Ask Jiraiya about it. Naruto would let Jiraiya grope his breasts in order to get Jiraiya to teach Naruto things he shouldn't know." Tsunade looked furious "Jiraiya….Groping……peeping……sneaking……"

"Lady Hokage, calm down. You can punch Jiraiya later. We need a solution to the current problem now. Namely, how can Naruko get to Tenten's weapons shop without causing all shinobi and male civilians getting blood noses?"

"Do you think Naruko is the same size as Hinata?" asked Hiashi

"No. Hinata's clothes would be too baggy on Naruko. Hinata is, as the boys put it, "talented" so Hinatas bras would not fit Naruko and Naruko needs to wear a bra if she was to wear Hinatas clothes"

"What about a Henge?"

"That's what got us into this problem in the first place. Perhaps Hinata still has some of her smaller bras? What about temporarily binding narukos talents until she buys a bra?"

"I make sure Hinata gets rid of any clothes that do not fit, since it would not reflect well on the clan if she did"

"Please tell me you didn't force her to throw out her first bra!"

"No, I didn't. That is in the personal vaults of the Hyuuga. I wouldn't be as cruel as to throw that away."

"The second idea had merit. Problem is that it is kind of painful to bind ones breasts. I could ask Jiraiya what he knows about Drag Kings and how they do that"

"Drag…Kings?"

"You are familiar with Drag queens, I presume. Drag kings are the opposite. Women who wear men's clothing and bind their breasts as to make it look like they are male"

"Perfect! Make it seem that Naruto is pretending to be a girl pretending to be a boy. It's perfect for the boy who painted rude symbols over the Hokage monument and the inventor of the Ninja Centerfold Jutsu!"

"Circles within circles... Kami, this confuses me!"

"Hiashi, how much do you know about the personal lives of the branch family?"

"I know that some of the males go to the red light district to watch women take off their clothes. Why?"

"Why use a sword when a subtle knife will suffice?"

"That was one of Minato's favorite sayings when someone asked why we didn't simply ninja rush the rock village during the war. Sometimes, I wonder if you really are female Tsunade, you think like a man. If you were a man, which would also lead me to wonder if Naruto really is the inventor of the Ninja Centerfold Jutsu."

"Hiashi, I am female. Jiraiya can attest to that. Naruto is the inventor of that jutsu, since no other ninja would make such a useless and troublesome jutsu"

"In that case, I shall call those males to my presence and ask them what they know about drag kings"

"You do that, I'm going to see Naruko about some things"

"Of course. Keep close to the compound so I can contact you. Remember what was spoken in this room stays between us excepting what we agreed upon"

"Certainly, Now I bid you goodbye for now." Tsunade and the shadow clone got up, bowed and left the room.

"You are not a normal shadow clone. Care to explain?"

"That is true, I am not a normal shadow clone, and rather I am a shadow replication.  
In every body, there are certain things called Voices. The Voices are basically manifestations of bodily functions. The Shadow Replication technique draws the Voices out of the body and places them inside a shadow clone. If you want to know what Voice I am, I am the Voice responsible for chakra control. I don't have much to do, since I delegate to the 8 gates and Senti, the Voice that only 9 people in the world have. Guess who those people are?"

"The Junchikiri…"

"Exactly. The Shadow Replication Technique differs from the ordinary shadow clone technique in that the replications do not dispel as easily, are capable of speaking like I am doing now and can know things without the creator knowing. Shadow clones dispel after a small amount of damage, can only utter simple words and have to share everything they know with their creator. We are here" The shadow replication knocked on the door and entered with Tsunade following her. "Hello Naruko, hello Voices." Said Tsunade. The shadow replications looked puzzled. The Voice responsible for chakra control spoke "I told her about the technique, since she guessed that I was not a normal shadow clone. Let me introduce the ones with names. That is Libra, formerly Libris. Libra is responsible for Narukos libido. The one standing stock still is Senti, the true jailor of the Kyuubi. Senti basically makes sure the Kyuubi doesn't overwhelm Naruko by limiting Kyuubi's chakra when Naruko draws upon it, entertains Kyuubi by talking to her. The one sitting next to Naruko is Sanguina, formerly Sangunius. Sanguina is the reason why we know Naruko will have monthly visits from the crimson moon, as Sanguina is responsible for menstruation and formerly blood flow to Naruto's genitalia. The two narukos intertwined with each other are Anima and Animus, although Animus should look like Naruto. Anima and Animus are the male energy in the female body and the female energy in the male body. Those two voices are the only ones with immutable gender, while the rest of us change gender as Naruko does. There are many Voices in Narukos body, including Kyuubi."

Thank you for telling me that, but you said that Kyuubi is a Voice. Does this mean that Kyuubi could possess a shadow clone? And you called Kyuubi female…."

"Kyuubi could do that, provided that Senti was there to keep her in line. A shadow Replication of her would have to be modified as to have what equates to an emergency kill button. Kyuubi is female, since she is the Goddess of the Kitsune and Keatons, as well as a Demon Queen. Kitsune society is matriarchal, with males being treated much like human females were in human history."

"I never thought that the Bijuu that almost destroyed Konoha was female?" Senti looked up "Permission to speak?" she asked. Naruko sighed "we are alone and Tsunade is a trusted person, so yes, you do have permission to speak"

"Thank you ma'am. That is a common misconception about the tailed beasts that they are all male. In truth, only 4 are male, 4 are female and one is genderless, due to being the only one of its kind. The tailed beasts that are male are the 1 tailed tanuki, 3 tailed kappa, 4 tailed orochi and the seven tailed dragon. The tailed beasts that are female are the 2 tailed cat, the 5 tailed Tengu, the 6 tailed okami and the Nine tailed fox. The 8 tailed phoenix is the genderless one, after deciding that since it was the only one of its kind, it did not require a gender. It identifies more as female because the 8 tailed phoenix decided that females were smarter than males. Kyuubi agrees, since she has seen the 1 tailed tanuki try and goad the 4 tailed orochi into having a scrotum smacking contest. Since tanuki have extremely large scrotums, while orochis do not have scrotums, the tanuki would have won. The tales Kyuubi tells are legendary among the Voices, especially about the 7 tailed dragon, the only tailed beast that was not female that she would consider mating with, since he was the sane one of the male tailed beasts. Funnily enough, the 8 tailed phoenix seems to have some sort of affection towards Kyuubi."

"I would like to hear some of these tales sometime, but not now. Do I have permission to tell Naruko why Hanabi wants her to bring money?" Asked Tsunade. All the voices (with the exception of Anima and Animus, who were too busy making out with each other) nodded. "Thank you. Hanabi wants to help you with something that you will need until we can find a way to change you back. Hanabi wants to take you shopping for things you will need as a girl, namely clothes, undergarments, weapons, feminine hygiene products. I have agreed to this. However, you posed a problem. Namely any single male who sees you gets a blood nose from seeing you. I will speak to the other kunoichi and ask them to help you learn the things that they have had 15 to 16 years to learn. At the moment, you are a boy in a girl's body. You act like a boy, fight like a boy, eat like a boy. You seem to have mastered thinking like a girl. You will still be on the active roster regarding ninja missions, but you are to be treated as a kunoichi. You don't have to worry about us sending you on missions requiring you to engage in sexual intercourse, since those are reserved for Jonin and even then, the Jonin has to agree to do it. You will, however have to learn the reason why we teach the saying "A kunoichi is a powerful weapon and powerful motivator of shinobi"" Narukos eyes lit up "I'm going to learn a kunoichi only technique?" Tsunade nodded "In a way, you will learn a few of them. There is one that most kunoichi learn that I won't teach you, namely because I don't think you will need it. It allows the kunoichi to have unprotected sexual intercourse and not fall pregnant. I don't think you will be sleeping with any shinobi. I will teach you a jutsu that will stop you falling pregnant if you are raped. All kunoichi of Chunin rank must be able to perform this jutsu in order for me to approve of their rank up and understand that it is not to be used regularly as a form of contraception. If you wanted to know, if a male tried to use that or any other jutsu designed for females, the results are not that pretty. But the technique you need to learn is not a jutsu, but rather a way you act. In order to learn that, you need to learn how to be a girl. In order to learn how to be a girl, you have to look the part. I have someone I trust looking into finding a way to get you to Tenten's weapon store with the minimum of body rockets. Here is what we are going to do. I am giving you special dispensation as Hokage to pull this prank, namely because no one will be hurt in pulling this prank. You are going to look like Naruto is trying to look like a girl. In essence, you are going to be a girl pretending to be a boy pretending to be a girl. Clothing is not the problem, but rather your mammary glands" Naruko looked confused, not knowing what Tsunade was talking about. "Mammary glands. Every female has them. I am gifted with a large pair; Jiraiya wants to constantly see them. Every boy your age wants to see Sakura or Ino's, yet if they looked carefully, they would want to see Hinatas. The problem for them is that the mammary glands are literally underneath the female's nose, so it's pretty hard to sneak a peek at them." Naruko looked down and got what Tsunade was getting at "Why didn't you just say breasts? And how come you have such an insight into the mind of teenage boys" Tsunade smiled and then tried to stop herself from laughing. She failed miserably. "You forget who was on a team with me when I was your age. That boy grew up into the biggest pervert in Konoha and he doesn't hide it. He had the balls to call me flat-chested. Of all people! Me! Flatchested! I should show you a picture of the 3 of us when we were your age. Naruko, can I ask you a huge favor?" Naruko looked confused, wondering what the Hokage would want from her. "It depends on what it is. If you want me to kiss you, I would have to say no. there is someone else I want to kiss."

"No, I'm not asking you to kiss me. I need to explain something to you. As you know, I do not have any children. I was planning on having children with Shizunes Uncle Dan. We were going to be married when the war was over. Sadly, Dan died in battle and I never wanted to be tied down like that again. What I really wanted was a daughter. Someone I could look after. My time as a ninja is at an end. Now it is just endless paperwork and boring crap. I also have to deal with the hot spring peeper. Do you know how long it has been since I have actually gone on a mission? Feared for my life? At least 2 years. I think it is time I passed on what I know to the next generation of ninjas. I have that in Shizune and Sakura. Tonton, although affectionate, isn't the daughter I imagined. What I am asking you, Naruko Uzumaki, is will you be my daughter?" Naruko thought about this for a while, her shadow clones waiting for her to answer, Anima and Animus even stopped making out for a few minutes to find out what Naruko would say to such a strange request. Naruko started crying. "Did I say something wrong, Naruko?" Naruko looked at Tsunade and shook her head, her pigtails flailing violently "You didn't say anything wrong; it's just that no one has asked me something like that." Libra smirked "I sure hope not" she said sarcastically. Tsunade laughed at Libras comment "I know. If someone asked Naruto if he could be their daughter, I would be disturbed." Naruko let out a laugh as well "Naruto would have looked at them funny and said something like "What the hells have you been taking and where can I get some?" then substituted himself with a shadow clone." Tsunade looked depressed when Naruko said that "Fogive me for asking then." Naruko gave the foxy smile Naruto was known for "But I'm not Naruto at the moment" she said with a smile, only to be interrupted by her stomach growling. "Hey mother, what time is it?" Naruko asked her new mother "I think it's time you got something to eat, my Hime."

And it was agreed that Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage, would adopt Naruko Uzumaki as her daughter. Naruko would go by the name Naruko Namekaze, explained by saying that she was Minato Namekaze's niece. The deal was sealed over a few bowls of ramen.

"Hey! Old man! I need some ramen!" Yelled Naruko at Ichirakus. The man who ran the ramen place came out of the kitchen and looked around "Odd, I could have sworn I heard Naruto calling out to me" he said to himself, scratching his head.

"He or rather she was. I should tell her off for doing that." Ichiraku turned to the source of the voice "Lord Hokage! What a surprise! Where is that boy?"

"Right here, Old man! Can't you see me?"

"Naruto? I don't see you! Where are you?"

"Right here, old man!"

"I don't see you Naruto; all I see is the Hokage and a girl who looks a lot …like…you….standing….next to her. Naruto, what happened?"

"Can I tell him? He was the only adult who never hated me."

"Go ahead Naruko"_If only you knew, Naruko, If only you knew._

"Well, it all started when I was training….."

END OF CHAPTER 2

**A/N Long chapter is loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong! Yeah, I kind of got sidetracked with the Voices thing, but since I am not putting Lucian Arane or any of my other OCs in here, I needed to put them in,even if they solely exist to be talking shadow clones. **

**To **loki09 aka ttre208: **Thank you for pointing out the errors I had made. They have been fixed. My beta reader is not online and only got the story yesterday.**

**To all those who told me about Tsunades title: I know that I stuffed it up. I corrected that when the first person told me. takes up to over an hour to update a fic when it is edited, so no more reviews saying that i mixed up Naruto's future title and Tsunades current one. **

**Omake**

**Original Jutsus or Original jutsu names**

**Blood release: Body rocket**

**Type:** Taijutsu  
**Rank: **Unranked  
**Range: **personal  
**Description:** essentially a powerful blood nose brought on via over stimulation, the Blood Release: Body Rocket jutsu can be used to escape quickly. Unfortunately, the jutsu leaves an impressive trail of blood.  
**Famous users:** Sandaime Hokage, Ebisu, Kiba Inazuka

**Wind Release: Stinking cloud**

**Type:** Ninjutsu  
**Rank: **Unranked  
**Range: **Close (0- 5 feet)  
**Description: **Wind release: stinking cloud is the fake name given to the jutsu Naruto used to defeat Kiba in the Chunin exams. Stinking cloud expels methane smelling chakra from the user's body, usually from the rectum for maximum psychological effect on the opponent.  
**Famous users: **Naruto Uzumaki

**Forbidden Jutsu: Large head of the Master**

**Type:** Ninjutsu  
**Rank: **C (limited to chunin or above)  
**Range: **Personal  
**Description: **This jutsu is only taught to those chunin who decide that their skills are better suited to teaching at a ninja academy. Developed by the First Hokage, it is tradition for teachers at the academy to learn this and use this jutsu to make a classroom full of snot-nosed kids shut the hell up. The jutsu enlarges the users head and amplifies the user's voice. It only has one weakness. One that Naruto exploits once by accident. The jutsus weakness is that it makes all the blood in the body flow to the head, while the chakra used flows in the bloods place. If the blood in the head can somehow expelled via the nose, a classic example of the Blood Release: Body Rocket technique can be observed.  
**Famous users: **Iruka Umina, Mizuki (disputed), Kakashi Hatake

**Shadow Replication Technique**

**Type:**Genjutsu/Ninjutsu  
**Rank: **B (limited to Jonin or above) (Forbidden)  
**Range: **Medium (0-20 feet)  
**Description: **The next step in the development of the Shadow Clone jutsu, the shadow replication jutsu creates perfect shadow clone/s, and then imbues them with a part of the user called a Voice. Voices are the manifestations of the user's bodily functions. Imbuing a Voice into a shadow clone grants it various abilities. Standard abilities include the ability to take more punishment than a normal shadow clone, the ability to keep information from the user and speech capabilities on par with the user. Other abilities may be present depending on the Voice imbued: IE; a shadow replication with Sangunius imbued inside it may use blood related abilities and the Ninja Centerfold jutsu.  
**Famous users: **Naruko Namekaze, Lucian Arane, Naruto Uzumaki (disputed)

**Mimicking bird**

**Type: **Taijutsu (style)  
**Rank: **B (Limited to Jonin or above) (Restricted) (Clan) (Special)  
**Range: **See description  
**Description: **The Taijutsu style of the Arane clan, Mimicking bird makes use of the Arane Doujutsu, the spirit eye. Mimicking bird allows the user to mimic the taijutsu style of his or her opponent. The only taijutsu styles off limits to mimicking bird users are Gentle Fist and Drunken fist, due to their special requirements. Theoretically, if a user of this style possessed the evolved form of the Doujutsu, the Spirit Eye Revolution, the user could use the two off limits styles.  
**Famous users: **the Arane clan, in particular, Lucian Arane and Sabata Arane. Lita Arane is the only member of the Arane clan not to be proficient in the style.

**Spirit Eye/ Spirit Eye Revolution**

**Type: **Doujutsu (eyes)  
**Rank: **S (forbidden, clan or Kage only) (Clan)  
**Range:** Sight  
**Description: **The bloodline limit of the Arane clan, the spirit eye allows the user to see spirits and by extension, the chakra system. It is activated via special training before admission into the academy. Beginners have one red eye and one green eye. When the user gains more power, the spirit eyes change color. This can happen 2 to 3 times before reaching the limit. The red eye always stays the same color, the other eye, however changes from green to electric blue to pure black to purple. The color means nothing except how powerful the user is. Lucian Arane, when his Spirit Eye was first activated, had two purple eyes, a powerful sign for the future of the clan  
**Famous Users: **Sabata Arane  
**Release conditions:**The caged bird must be set free by one who commands the five. Translated, this means that the person must remove the caged bird seal from a member of the Hyuuga clan. The user must be able to use all 5 classical elements.  
**Released description: **When activated, both eyes rapidly change color extremely fast. It is rumored that only one with the Sharingan can see all the colors individually. The SER allows the user to use any taijutsu style he or she desires, regardless of ability.  
**Famous users: **The real Lucian Arane.

**Noctebyukagan**

**Type: **Doujutsu (Eyes)  
**Rank: **S (forbidden, clan or Kage only) (Clan)  
**Range: **Sight  
**Release conditions:**The caged bird must be set free by the one who commands the five. Same as the SER, but this time, they are having the caged bird seal removed.  
**Description:** The user's eyes change color from lavender to imperial purple with black irises. The Noctebyukagan unlocks the user's ability to see the chakra system of the world around them. This allows the user to use the chakra of the world itself.  
**Famous users: **Hinata Hyuuga.

**Mangekyo Sharingan: Form Susan-no**

**Type:** Doujutsu (eyes)  
**Rank: **S (Forbidden, Clan or Kage only) (Clan)  
**Range: **Sight  
**Release conditions:**The one with eyes of red forces the Called Snake to leave this plane due to its wounds inflicted by the summoner. Translated: Summon the current head of the Snake summons clan, battle it until he or she dismisses him/herself due to his/her wounds.  
**Description:**The user, upon obtaining this Doujutsu, breaks the summoning contract with the snake clan, but gains the ability to summon any weapons the user can think of. The "Boss" weapon takes the form of a human, since the human body is the ultimate weapon if trained correctly. Any descendants of the original user may sign the weapons clan summoning contract, but may never sign the snake clan summoning contract.  
**Description: **The normally red eyes take on a purple tinge the more this Doujutsu is used. All three tomoe fuse together, making a ring around the iris.  
**Famous users: **Sasuke Uchiha  
**Notes: **I got sick and tired of trying to tell the different forms of the Mangekyo Sharingan apart canon wise. Itachis form is called "Mangekyo Sharingan: Form Amaretsu". Kakashis form is called "Mangekyo Sharingan: Form Tsukiyomi". Sasuke needed a Mangekyo Sharingan form that didn't require him to kill Naruto or have the Tsukiyomi Sharingan used on him. All the Sharingan only jutsus are named after Japanese deities, or _Kami_. Here is the list

Amaretsu is the Kami of the Sun. A fitting name for a jutsu that creates fire that burns for 72 hours

Tsukiyomi is the Kami of the Moon. The moon can be quite misleading at times, so an illusion jutsu is fine too

Susan-no is the Kami of Storms. Best known for the fact that he killed the 8 headed orochi and found the Tsurugi no Kusanagi AKA grasscutter. A jutsu that summons weapons seems right.


	3. Authors Note

Hey, everyone. I have some news. You may have noticed that I have not updated for quite some time. The way things are going now, chances are that I won't update Backfire. I'm considering putting Backfire up for adoption. It is not First come, First serve. In fact, if multiple people want to continue writing Backfire, then I'll send ALL of you what I have written of Backfire and watch how you develop the story.

I also have quite a few fic ideas that might interest you guys and girls out there. This is copied straight from my profile, BTW.

The Queen Beetle and the Vixen Empress: For the 9th anniversary of Naruto, Kishimoto revealed what the other 6 Bijuu vessels looked like. The Nanabi container turned out to be a rather tomboyish looking girl named Fuu. Fuu had her Bijuu extracted off-screen. What if her village sent her to Konoha to keep a deal over 200 years old? Naruko is a lonely little girl who just wants someone to play with her. Parents take their children away whenever Naruko approaches. Maybe the intercession of a green-haired little girl could save Naruko from herself. Fem!Naruto/Fuu. Fem!Naru/Masc!Hinata

Six Years Later: Itachi Uchiha was a good man. What lovers he had were always satisfied and kept coming back for more. Shame about that incident 6 years ago. Tsunade has to deal with all these women from outside the village claiming to have borne the children of Itachi Uchiha. Thing is, they may be right. The Uchiha clan is re-established, though not the way Konoha would have liked...

Total Genderflip of Konoha: Fem!Naruto is all well and good, but why stop at Fem!Naruto? Why not Fem!Hiruzen or Fem!Hashirama? Why limit yourself to just giving any male in Konoha the Fem! Treatment? Why not Genderflip Konoha totally? Pairings are as you see fit.

Rivals?: Ino Yamanaka was once best friends with Sakura Haruno. When Sakura decided that she liked Sasuke, Ino made a decision that would change both her and her best friends' lives. Ino decided that Sakura wasn't going to try very hard if she didn't have a rival to compete against, so Ino declared that SHE liked Sasuke as well. Pairing is InoSaku.

Efficiency Drive: This was a notion I had a while ago, mostly because there were things that bugged me about the Naruto world. Basically, it would have been a series of one-shots where the writer would try and resolve things like "If Konoha has such a hard-on for Kekkai Genkai, why did they pass up the chance to get the Dead Bone Pulse and the Hyouton?" and "Why the hell do they not try and find out what elemental affinities Genin have as soon as they pass the Jonin test?" and "If only the first-born children of the main family of the Hyuuga become main family members, why the hell is Hanabi a main branch?"

History Repeats Itself: It's all the same, only the names change. Team Seven through the ages, starting with the Sannin Team (Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade Senju), followed by Jiraiyas Team Seven (Unnamed Shinobi, Minato Namikaze and Unnamed Kunoichi), followed by Minato's Team Seven (Kakashi Hatake, Obito Uchiha, Rin), followed by Kakashi's Team Seven (Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno). It always seems to be the same situation, Top Shinobi is on a team with the Dead Last and the Kunoichi of the Year. Dead Last loves the KotY, while she likes the Top Shinobi, who possibly doesn't care. Meanwhile, a Hyuuga likes the Dead Last. Pairings are all one-sided JiraTsun, TsunOro, OCJira, HikaMina, ObiRin, RinKaka, NaruSaku, SakuSasu, HinaNaru. KonoHana in the future.

Master of the Pie: Naruto rejects the more common styles of Taijutsu to focus on the lost ways of Kokkeiken, or Humorous Fist. Konoha will never be the same again...

Overused Internet Meme: There once was a man called Minato Namikaze, who was Shadow of the Leaves. He had fame, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams. Before He died to save Konoha, these were the final words he said. "My Techniques are for the taking, but you have to find them first. I left everything to that person." Ever since, Ninjas from all over the Nation have been searching for that person, the Master who can make their dreams come true. One Piece/Naruto Crossover. Humorous.

Crossover BON: 12 years ago, Minato Namikaze signed a contract with the Shinigami in return for the power to stop the Kyuubi no Kitsune. The contract gave him Shinigami powers for long enough to seal the Kyuubi into a new-born child. In return, Minato would forgo whatever afterlife he deserved to become a Shinigami. 20 Years ago, There once was a man called Gol.D Rodger, who was King of the Pirates. He had fame, power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams. Before he was executed in a contradictory way, these were the final words he said "My treasure is yours for the taking, but you have to grab hold of it first. I left everything I owned in that place." Ever since, Pirates from all over the world have been trying to make their way to Raftel, the final island in the Grand Line, searching for the treasure that will make their dreams come true. 16 years ago in a different world, an orange haired boy met a short girl dressed in black robes. That was the day he became a Shinigami. This is the story where 3 worlds collide.

Backfire: If a jutsu can be mastered, can a jutsu backfire? What would be the result of Naruto's first original jutsu backfiring? what kind of impact will it have on the Village Hidden in the Leaves? NaruHina, NaruHina, possible SakuIno, Possible NejiTenLee, One-sided JiraTsun,

Spirit of the Mountain: Japanese mythology states that every mountain has a spirit, or kami. Why should the Hokage mountain be any different? Nobody knows where the Namekaze clan come from, except that they were around during the formation of Konohakagure no Sato. Eventual NaruHarem. Possible interplay between the members of the harem

Weapon: An AU fic of Naruto. Instead of the Sandaime taking Naruto from the Yondaime's arms, Danzo does. This results in Naruto being raised as a weapon and a test subject for what remains of Orochimarus experiments. Powerful!Naruto. No pairings

Same Village, Different Perspective: Why is Konoha made out to be the good guys? All we see are the "good" ninja. Everyone knows for every ninja you see, there are 10 you don't. Konoha from the perspective of the other main villages. No pairings (unless you count OtoKumoIwa alliance and KonoSuna)

Aversion: All naruto fics seem to fall into certain ruts. If the pairing is NaruHina, Sakura is ALWAYS paired with Sasuke. If Naruto is adopted by a clan with a girl near to his age, he ends up marrying her. The Wave Mission always happens exactly when it would in canon, even if Naruto has no justifiable reason to be on it. This fic will either avert or subvert these clichés. Pairings not used: NaruHina, SasuSaku, NejiTen, ChojiOC ShikaTema ShikaIno InoCho. Challenge fic

The Monkey and the Wolf?: Roshi meets a very strange-looking white wolf. Naruto/Okami X-over

Bleach

Just As Planned: 100 years ago, 10 Shinigami were exiled from Soul Society by the Central 46 due to 8 of them taking on hollow powers, one of them for creating the orb of distortion and the other for wanting to be human again. Captain General Yamamoto, however, saw the use of a highly powered force outside of Soul Society. The Visored would not be held accountable for their transformation and would not be pursued by 2nd Division. In return, should Yamamoto require them, all he has to do is ask.

The Leek and the Fist: Tatsuki always looked out for Orihime, defending her from the perverted hands of Chizuru. Could it be that Tatsuki liked Orihime more than a friend? Possible TatOri, one-sided ChiOri, possible ChiTat in the past.

C&R24: It's always been the way she hunts, capture her target, plays with them for 24 hours and release them back into the wild. Watch as Chizuru hunts the girls of the Bleach universe and plays with them for 24 hours. Chapter each for each of the pairings. Have Chizuru escalate as she successfully captures a playmate until she captures the Rare and Dangerous Halibel or the equally dangerous Soi-Fon

Nanoha

Starlight Hammer: They never found the bodies of Precia Testarossa and her daughter. The records state that they fell through a dimensional rift. Now, why couldn't they have ended up in the world of The King Of Braves, GaoGaiGar? Meanwhile, The TSAB receives intelligence of a new kind of Lost Logia, a green stone powered by COURAGE! Watch as Nanoha takes on The King Of Braves, GaoGaiGAR! What happens when a Starlight Breaker collides with a Hammer Hell and Heaven? Whose hammer is more powerful? Vitas or GaoGaiGar's? Nanoha/YUUSHA-OH! GaoGaiGar! crossover.

Master, Apprentice: A young girl wants to be happy for once and end up with her best friend, the Mistress of the Clow. She meets a brown haired girl with the power to break stars who seems to have succeeded in ending up with her best friend. Maybe a deal with the White Devil is what Tomoyo needs to make a good future for herself? Cardcaptor Sakura/Nanoha Crossover. NanoFate, TomoSaku.

.Hack

Avatar of the Temptress: Mia only imprinted on Elk because he looked like Tsukasa, but what would have happened, had Tsukasa continued to play The World? Maybe She would become the Avatar of the Temptress? TsuSub. MachTsuk friendship.

Your member address, if you please...?: Haseo starts having flashes about a red-clothed twin-blade, occasionally spouting thing that he said. Watch as Haseo slowly regains his memories of being Sora.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex.

3rd season: This would be an interesting challenge. Basically, novelize Solid State Society with each chapter being an episode of GitS:SAC 3rd GiG, complete with Tachikomatic days and breather episodes.

The internet is a vast and infinite place: The Major goes cruising on the internet for fun and possible profit.

Red Ones go faster: The Tachikomas discuss chromatic superiority. Post SSS

Be Polite. Be Efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet: Saito muses about another famous sniper and his plans should any member of Section Nine ever turn rogue. Now, if Pazu would stop walking around with his knife and cloaking/decloaking...

Death Note

Dr Yagami: Raito Yagami, smartest student in Japan becomes a doctor instead of a policeman. He works with the elderly who rot in hospital beds. Shame about his mortality rate...

Obsuficating Stupidity: L investigates Raito. Too bad Raito seems to be a bit of a retard who can even flourish a pen properly. Is it really like that or is it Just As Planned?

Code Geass.

Love Me Forever: The Meeting between Zero and Princess Euphimia goes...differently. Instead of saying "kill all Japanese", Zero says "Love me forever." Now Lelouch has his half sister waking him up every morning. LelEup. Possible CCEup and NunEup.

Random X-Over's

Children of the Sun: It is known that the Solar Child bloodline are the only ones capable of wielding the Solar Weapons. But where does the Solar Child Bloodline come from? Boktai/Lunar Knights/ Metal Gear Solid/ Okami crossover.


	4. Chapter 4: Yet ANOTHER Authors Note

Hey everybody.

Just thought I'd clear up a few things.

First off, Backfire is ABANDONED. I can't remember what I was going to do with the fic. I'm not going to be writing any more of it. I am putting it up for adoption. If anyone is interested in a rewrite or continuing the story, PM me and I'll watch you redo my story and offer suggestions. Who knows, I might remember something or find one of my old files on Backfire.

Secondly, I have gotten a few reviews that state that I have my facts wrong about the 8-tails and it's vessel. This is partially correct. Backfire was written before Kishimoto revealed that the 8-tails was an Ushi-Oni. My version has the 8-tails be a Pheonix inside a very blatant OC. Please cease with the "The 8 tails isn't a phoenix, you're doing it wrong" reviews

Finally, Please do not write a review and then take it down so I can't reply to it. I'm mostly posting this here so that EVERYONE can see it and so I can reply to the reviews. There is an unspoken agreement here. I don't take down my stories, however bad they may be and in return, when you review, you don't take it down so you don't have to listen to replies.

Omega_Thunderstorm


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